TAKING A BREAK FROM STAR WARS MADNESS! The Would-You-Rather Challenge!

Hey guys! So, I finished The Upside of Unrequited Thursday night and will be getting my review of that up this weekend at some point (probably tonight or tomorrow morning), but I had to pause to have several mild heart attacks over the Last Jedi trailer. One day I’ll read some Star Wars books and review them here. One day.

Anyway, for the sake of getting a new blog post up and not leaving the blog high and dry, I’m gonna conveniently steal a challenge from BookTube, called the Would-You-Rather Challenge! The title pretty much explains it all, but I’m gonna try to go a little more in depth in my answers than a simple either-or.

And I think that everyone should take this as a testament to how much I love blogging. I stopped watching the trailer for a hot minute to write this.

So. You’re welcome.

Anyway, here we go!

Question One: Would you rather read only standalone books or only trilogies?

This isn’t even a question for me. Even though some of my favorite books are series (The Raven Cycle, Shades of Magic, although I’m not sure what category The Raven Cycle would fit into, since it’s not a trilogy) I much prefer reading standalones, because it allows me to get more variety in. I tend to lose interest really easily when I read series, and I can’t take a break in between because then I forget about what happened in the last one. It’s a problem.

So I only read series if I really, really like them (This Savage Song is my current series commitment, but thankfully it’ll only have two books). But MOST of my favorite books aren’t series. So I have to go with standalones. I’m not even sure how this would work, anyway. Would you not be allowed to read them until all three books are out? I don’t know the rules so I ain’t gonna fuck with it.

Question Two: Would you rather read only male authors or only female authors?

I wish there was an ‘only read queer authors’ option, because I’d pick that without question. Most of my favorite authors are queer anyway, so I’d be content for the most part. But I guess since two of my favorite authors, Victoria Schwab and Maggie Stiefvater, are female, and I would be much more comfortable ignoring male voices than female voices, I choose female. Plus, anyone who chooses male, have fun never reading Harry Potter again. Losers.

Although there are a lot of books I would really miss. My favorite classic and one of my favorite books of all time is One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, which would be out of my reach if this rule were magically implemented. But I guess I could still read Frankenstein and Rebecca, so I wouldn’t be entirely sans classics.  I would survive, and so would my bookshelf’s aesthetic.

Question Three: Would you rather shop at Barnes and Noble or Amazon?

I know this is a really financially stupid answer, but Barnes and Noble, just because I love being able to hold the books and flip through them and really just walk around and explore. If there were a physical Amazon bookstore in my vicinity, I would feel differently, but there’s just something about being in bookstores that I really love. But I would pick my local bookstore over either of those! I can trade books in for store credit there, and they can special order things for me, and I know I’m supporting people I like a lot.

And I know that I can browse on Amazon, but there’s some extremely key factors that my anal retentive ass needs to know before purchasing. Is the cover shiny or is it matte? How thick is this book? How big is the font? How wide are the margins? What tense is it written in? Is the font sans-serif? Because that’s not going to work. See, there are multiple physical dealbreakers that Amazon just can’t inform me of well enough.

Question Four: Would you rather all books became movies, or all books became TV shows?

Oh, definitely TV shows. Specifically Netflix TV shows. Or Amazon. So I can binge. This may be an unpopular opinion, but I usually don’t mind at all when they add things to a show to expand the plot beyond what happened in the books. I would much rather things be added than things be left out, and TV shows allow room for the plot to be carried out as leisurely as is needed, unlike movies, who have to rush through the plot in two hours as best they can. I feel so sorry for people who never read the Harry Potter books that had to sit through like, the last four movies.

A prime example of this would probably be Shadowhunters, but I know nothing about either the show or the movie, so I’m gonna use A Series of Unfortunate Events instead. In the movie, although I do love it for reasons all its own, they literally crammed three books into one movie and opened up so many questions that never got answered. And they grabbed the end of the first book and hauled it all the way over to the very end of the movie, which made very little sense, but I guess was an effort to make the ending more climactic.

The show doesn’t have to do that. It’s got two episodes per book, just enough time to really flesh out the plot of each one while adding some more overlying mysteries and foreshadowing along the way. In my opinion, it’s a prime example of what adaptations could be. No movie has ever done as well. Except Holes, maybe.

Question Five: Would you rather read five pages per day, or five books per week?

Well hold on now, does this choice include a magical time-stopping device that allows me to have time to read all of these books and also review them? Because if not, as much as it pains me, I have to choose five pages per day, because I literally have no time to read a book a day for a week. I would absolutely love to have the time to do this, and if book reviewing and blogging was my job, I totally would have the time and enjoy every moment of it. But unfortunately, I live the sad, sad life of an ordinary American young adult, and have to go to school, and work, and still have time to sleep and bathe myself and eat and maintain human relationships. So that’s a no for me.

But if I have a nice life-pausing remote I can click like Adam Sandler in that one movie, and just settle down to read for large chunks of time, and then pause again later to write a review, and live the rest of my life like normal, then hell yeah I’ll read five a week.

I hate this question. Why couldn’t it be like, five chapters a week instead? I could do that, that would be more realistic. Or one chapter a day, even. I could live with that. Both of these options are terrible in the real world.

Question Six: Would you rather be a professional reviewer or a professional author?

This is difficult, because I have two separate, very detailed but very different dreams of my life in the future, should I be as successful as I want to be.

The first image is me with a successful book, maybe a series, including the one I’m working on now, a legit book in my hands with a cover and a picture of me on the back and chapters and characters that people on Tumblr want to make edits of. People invite me to do book talks on my series in libraries and bookstores and people get excited that they’re able to ask me questions about my process and my characters, and they give me fanart and sell little stickers of my characters on Etsy, and I’m not as big as J.K. Rowling but maybe as big as Maggie or Victoria.

The second image is me with an extremely successful book blog, maybe this one. I could still go do book talks but they’d be about other people’s books that I love, and getting to share them with other people. I’d be getting paid to read books, and people would send me advanced reader copies of their new books to read and review because people genuinely care what I think. I’d have a nice colorful professional photo of myself in front of a bookshelf as my sidebar, and maybe I’d even get to do interviews with authors.

Those are pretty small dreams, as far as dreams go. Most people would say they want to be as famous as Stephen King, or work for a major publication reviewing books for someone like Entertainment Weekly. But nah. I just want moderate fame. Fame in a very certain niche of people. So honestly I would take either of those things.

Question Seven: Would you rather only read your top 20 books or only read new books?

Only new books, for sure. I can’t un-read the ones that were my favorites, so I’d still love them with the red-hot intensity of a thousand suns (Haha, I almost typed ‘sons’. Those must be some pretty hot sons), but I have a strong need for variety, and I know I’d go absolutely insane if I had to read the same 20 things over and over again. I barely do rereads now, and when I do, it’s only when it’s been a long time since I’ve read the books for the first time and I think I can get something new out of them.

Question Eight: Would you rather be a librarian or be a bookseller?

Well. Right now I’m a library volunteer, which is like, five-to-ten rungs lower than a librarian. And I’ve shelved stuff and helped people out before, including kids, especially in the summer. And surprisingly, even though I’m not the greatest at talking to kids, I love it. I wish I could have an actual job there. So I would have to pick librarian, I think, because I really feel at home at my library. Although it would also be extremely fun to work at our aforementioned local bookstore, since I know almost everybody there, too. I just want a job where I can recommend people books, okay!?

Question Nine: Would you rather only read your favorite genre for the rest of your life, or only read every genre BUT your favorite for the rest of your life?

UGH this is an unfair question. I mentioned before that I require a lot of variety when it comes to my media consumption, so I can’t say yes to only reading horror books for the rest of my life. However, I think this would be alright in the end if I was allowed to keep watching horror movies, since I definitely watch more horror than I read. So maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. I would really miss Joe Hill, though. Also, I’m gonna count Frankenstein as a sci-fi rather than a horror, since Mary Shelley is credited as inventing the science fiction genre. So I can still read my favorites.

Seriously, though, I could never read only one genre for the rest of my life; that would be a total dealbreaker. If someone told me that if I ever wanted to read it would have to be within one genre and one genre alone, I would probably stop reading and just watch movies. I need to be in the mood for stuff.

Question Ten: Would you rather read a physical book or an e-book?

I own a kindle and I like it for reading cheap splatterpunk and bizarro horror e-books, like Edward Lee, Jack Ketchum, etc, because I don’t want to fill up my shelf with little horror trade paperbacks. But when it comes to reading stuff that’s more meaty, stuff I want to review, I much prefer a physical book. I like putting sticky notes on pages to give myself notes, but more than anything else I like people to see what I’m reading. It’s a conversation starter, it shows a bit of my personality to people who are never going to speak to me or see me again. It gives me character!

So that’s this tag. I’ll probably be doing more of these between books! Tell me your answers to some of these questions, or even steal this tag to do it yourself! It’s pretty dang fun.

Ciao!

xoxo gossip girl Kell

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